Daybreak Musings
by StillThereForMe
Summary: Ryan reflects over his new relationship with a certain jock, and worries about how much he's feeling for him, given the chances that the relationship probably won't last come September. Chyan, oneshot


**Disclaimer:** Don't own it. If I did, Chaylor wouldn't be the movie canon pairing...

A/N: Just really wanted to post something between my updates on "What Would You Have Me Do" (which I'm sorry is taking so long, but i'm actually having trouble with...I'm slightly embarrassed to say for all I've read, I've never actually written a straight out slash scene before), and "My Best Friend's Secret" (which is about halfway done). College is making less and more time for typing...confusing to explain. So anyway, just wanted to post something, so I managed to write up this idea I had today in one day! I apologize if there are any typos, don't hestitate to tell me about them! (preferably not in the review since PM is less embarrassing, but you can leave them in the review if you want) I WILL correct them if you mention them to me.

**Warning**: Slash...and this is also probably the fluffliest thing I've ever written in my life (no exaggeration). I was actually shocked when I finished at what I had written, because I **never** used to write fluff...although there is some angsting, let's just say, it's not what I usually write. Forgive my sweetness...I don't know where it came from. I'm normally more of an angst writer, but this doesn't seem to be happening for me in this fandom.

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**Daybreak Musings**

By: StillThereForMe

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The sun was weakly noticeable through the light blue curtains of Ryan's suite at Lava Springs. It slightly brightened the cyan walls and the mahogany nightstand, barely reaching the deep navy silk sheets of the king-sized bed Ryan was not lying alone in. He didn't know what time it was, because his digital clock was currently blocked by the body in front of him, and the Drama King had absolutely no desire to move from the spot he was currently lying in just to check the hour. The view he had at the moment was plenty satisfying.

Covered up to his shoulders in warm blankets, the silk felt fantastic against his bare skin, and he was sure the boy in front of him thought so too, given he was still in a deep sleep after the night before. Ryan smiled; realizing he himself had probably yet to even shut his eyes since then. No matter how many times the darker teen had spent the night with him (which had become increasingly frequent as the summer went on); it was still unbelievable and amazing to the blond every time. Afterwards, Ryan could never fall asleep, and would end up just watching the darker boy until dawn—as if closing his eyes would mean he'd wake up alone. And the Drama King thought that even more than what had occurred the night before, this was his favorite thing in the world: watching Chad Danforth contently sleep in _his_ bed, wearing _his_ warm navy blue silk sheets and nothing else, while the sun was just starting to shine through the blinds behind him. It was something that, before this summer, he had never thought in ten million years he'd see—or even knew that he _wanted_ to see.

Chad shifted unconsciously, rubbing his face deeper into the soft dark blue pillow, his right arm coming out on top of the blankets covering half his torso. Ryan smiled, gently bringing his own hand out from under the sheets and very gently touching the slightly warm dark skin of Chad's upper arm, enjoying the small body heat of the other more than he could believe himself. It was incredibly sappy and silly, but just lying there with the sleeping teen he'd been with the night before was possibly the best feeling he could remember having.

Chad was not his first, not by far. Before this summer, Sharpay and Ryan used to have contests to see who could hook up with more Lava Springs employees. Not necessarily have sex with, or even heavily make out with. Just get the attention of, and a committed attention, which often lead to those physical, enjoyable moments. They'd often end up both doing the same lifeguard and joking about his kissing ability later. That game was the one thing that both Ryan and Sharpay both knew that Ryan was actually better at than the Drama Queen. He'd been with nearly every somewhat attractive male (and even a very few female) employee, and was quite proud of that. After all, summer was for letting loose and having fun, right?

Not that Ryan had never thought he was in love with anyone before Chad either. He'd had a few much more committed and serious relationships, and some had lasted quite a while. Although he'd admit, often during those relationships, he had thought about certain guys _other_ than the one he was dating at the moment—and sometimes, acted on those thoughts. One-night-stands were never that big a deal to Ryan. After all—if someone was attracted to you and wanted sex, and the other enjoyed it and was willing, everyone was happy. If you were still in love with the one you were dating, it really shouldn't be that big a deal since sex was just a physically enjoyable thing, like dancing. A relationship was supposed to be about emotions, right? It was only wrong if you lied about it. Ryan was always honest about his sex life.

He'd never dated anyone at East High; always community theatre or family friends. East High boys just seemed off-limits, like keeping his school life and private life separate or something. The Drama King did always end up picking a funny, cocky, somewhat conceited guy who loved to take charge (Ryan loved being controlled by someone stronger, in life and in bed), which meant he often ended up with bruises on his hips and in the shadows of someone else with a pretty big ego and that was the way he liked it. The breakups were often due to repeated cheating (on either Ryan or his boyfriend, the stats were pretty equal), Sharpay's disapproval (over the person, or the way they were treating Ryan—even if Ryan didn't mind or liked the rough treatment he was getting, she had the final say), getting tired of each other, or a fight over future plans.

But even with those breakups that had really hurt, Ryan didn't ever remember _ever_ feeling like the way he was right now with _any_ of those boyfriends.

Ryan moved his hand up the other's arm, sliding it up to cup the darker one's cheek. He smiled when Chad unconsciously leaned into it. He couldn't believe again, that such a ridiculously simple action could make him so happy. But it did.

He had never dated a jock before—that would be more of Sharpay's type—or a fellow Wildcat, but other than that Chad did fit the personality of his typical boyfriend, and yet…there was something different about him too. When they were having sex, Chad was very dominant just like Ryan had hoped he would be and the Drama King enjoyed it. But he didn't just enjoy it because of the way Chad was acting, but because…because it was _Chad_. He liked it because it was Chad. And when he was with Chad, he didn't feel like he was in Chad's shadow all the time, but he didn't feel like he was the lead either—like they were equal when it didn't matter, and Chad was the lead when Ryan wanted him to be. And on the uncommon occasion when Ryan wanted to take the reins, Chad let him have it without being asked.

Ryan thought for a moment. Then, very carefully, he moved over from his spot on the bed over to rest his head on Chad's pillow, close enough to feel the other boy's breath on his cheek. Bringing his pale hand to touch the dark chest, Ryan grinned again as sure enough, Chad's drowsy arm moved to hug the paler boy closer as the jock gave a drowsy groan and touched the top of Ryan's head with his chin, before returning to the steady breathing he made in his sleep. Happily resting his forehead against the warm boy's collarbone, the blond sighed incredibly content, and confused as to why.

He wondered if it meant he was in love. Although adults who believed in love were always saying that you wouldn't really fall in love until you were in college or something. And he'd known plenty of people who had been crushed by assuming something was love when it ended up not. But it couldn't be infatuation, and this was so different from anyone he'd been with before. He loved everything about Chad, even the things that annoyed him like the way he didn't take much time putting together his clothes and how he was sometimes sloppy or the way Chad teased the blond about being the opposite, Ryan loved him. So that had to mean he _loved_ him, right? If all he could think about when he was around the boy was how much he loved all the things about him that had to be something more than a fling. So, Ryan closed his eyes and officially decided to himself: he had fallen in love with Chad in one summer.

And as happy and content as Chad made him, it also scared the shit out of him.

One of the many unusual traits his relationship with Chad had was that they didn't talk about _what_ they were. Not that any of Ryan's previous relationships really ever contained a time that the two boys sat and discussed all the aspects of their "coupling", they weren't girls after all—however flamboyant and gay. It was just—they had never needed to! Ryan just always knew when he was considered a boyfriend, a friend-with-benefit, a 'lover', an experiment, or a fuck buddy. As much as Ryan could admit he loved everything about Chad, there were just so many things that were different that changed the circumstances and left the pale boy worrying early in the morning about what his status was. Ryan had never dated anyone at East High, but much more than that—Ryan had never dated anyone who wasn't out yet. He'd always been able to be fairly openly affectionate with the boy he was with (or as open as any gay man could be with his boyfriend in Albuquerque without risking physical injury), and had even been in the theatre community paraded around like a trophy (dating an Evans was a big deal after all), but Ryan had never been a secret.

But that wasn't the only thing that was scaring him. If a guy had ever been unwilling to be public about him before (which he had suspicions about several of the men he'd dated), he would have had no problem kicking their ass to the curb. Or if he couldn't, Sharpay would have no problem taking over the job. But again, with Chad it was different. He could see himself agreeing to be a secret during the school year, and then Chad deciding halfway through that he wasn't gay anymore and cutting them off. And the thought of that made him almost unable to breathe—especially when bringing in that nobody else would know about it, and he'd have to pretend everything was okay when he saw the handsome darker boy in the class every day until graduation. Since he's begun…whatever it was they were with Chad, Ryan had not surprisingly thought about any other guy—including celebrities. Nobody aside from Chad even interested him, and if he _was _in love—which he'd decided he was—that would probably mean nobody else ever would. Would that mean he'd be pining after the boy until he was dead?

Or even if Chad did decide to come out, and everyone at school was even okay with it, and Chad felt the same way he did, that still didn't eliminate all the problems. Again, Chad was _different_ than all the other boys he'd seriously dated before. Ryan had come out to his family, and they'd all accepted him, but Ryan was well aware his father was still somewhat in denial, or thought it was just a phase, or that even if Ryan was gay, he was still going to marry a woman and have kids, with rentboys on the side. His father did greet and acknowledge his boyfriends, but all Ryan's serious boyfriends so far had been wealthy, white, well-mannered teens with fairly good connections to something his father thought important. Now his father was by no means a racist, nor was his father homophobic for that matter either—his father just didn't want certain things being a part of his family. They could be invited over to watch a movie or for dinner, as friends, as partners, as bosses and employees, fantastic, but just not as a potential son-in-law or family member. Ryan had a sneaking suspicion that was one of the reasons Sharpay hadn't started anything with Zeke, but went as far as to use "daddy" to try and hook Troy. The Evans family would always be well-dressed, fair-skinned, and able to pass for blond if they tried. And lord knows Chad couldn't do that.

Ryan didn't know any of this for sure, but it was certainly the way things felt. A relationship against possibly the world, with the boy that had made the manwhore Ryan Evans stop thinking about being with any other male on the planet.

Technically his sister probably wasn't aware of him and Chad yet, even though the twins were on speaking terms again. Not that Ryan was hiding him from her, just that he hadn't told Sharpay why he was hanging out so much with the basketball player or the detail that it was because they were more than friends. Which would make Chad the first boyfriend (if that's what he was to Ryan) he'd had that he didn't immediately inform his sister about.

Ryan frowned with a sigh, and rubbed his cheek against Chad's chest.

"What're you thinking about?" A low voice gently asked him, gently rubbing his bare back.

Ryan looked up in surprise to see Chad wide awake and softly smiling down at him—a look that the blond's face automatically and happily mirrored in return. A warm feeling pulled at Ryan's chest when he looked at the darker boy's eyes.

"Good morning." Ryan whispered, though loud enough for the basketball player to easily hear him given the short distance. "How long have you been awake?"

"Dunno. The clock's behind me, and I like looking at you more than a stupid clock." Chad grinned and winked at the boy lying next to him. "Especially when you're making faces at my chest."

Ryan looked up confused, until it dawned on him the way his face had probably looked while he was lost in thought. His mouth dropped open and his eyes closed slowly. "Oh god…" Ryan hid his face against Chad's chest as his cheeks reddened in embarrassment.

"Hey, it was cute." Chad laughed; rubbing Ryan's back again to get the over-dramatic boy to look at him once more. "So come on, what's wrong? You didn't look that happy and I'm assuming there's nothing wrong with my pecs, so what were you thinking about?"

Ryan chuckled at the darker boy's joke, but his smile slowly faded and he pulled away slightly to look seriously at the other. Chad's demeanor immediately changed at Ryan's unusual action, looking worried and confused.

"Chad…" Ryan stared at the stitching on the pillow while he tried to think of how to phrase what he was asking…though he wasn't even sure what he was asking. He looked back up at the other's dark, nervous face. "…when does summer vacation end?"

"Like, two weeks, then school starts." Chad replied unsurely, and then gave an annoyed sigh at his next words. "Which is too bad…"

Not sure how to take the comment he made, or what specifically Chad was referring to being 'too bad,' Ryan just remained silent. He looked directly at Chad's eyes, hoping the boy would catch on to what he wanted to talk about. Chad returned the look with a confused face once more, but then some hidden meaning apparently dawned on him as his face suddenly changed to one of shock and fear. Before Ryan could blink, his pale body was quickly pulled tightly against Chad's darker one, rumpled blue blankets the only barrier between them. Ryan's forehead was in the crook of the jock's neck, and he couldn't see Chad's face.

After a short but deafening moment of silence, Chad's voice quivered as he asked in a harsh, worried whisper "…you're not breaking up with me, are you? Please tell me I wasn't just a summer boyfriend…"

Literally frozen in shock, (at Chad's words and especially the use of 'boyfriend') Ryan didn't move his position and could only breathe "…what?"

"I heard some of the guys talking in the kitchen about how you normally hook up with a bunch of guys who work at Lava Springs every summer and it really doesn't mean anything, some contest or whatever and I didn't really believe it or at least I didn't think I was one of those guys and oh god please Ryan tell me I wasn't because this really meant something to me!" Chad's voice was cracking as he rambled and Ryan was still so in shock at the words coming from the darker boy's lips, it took a moment of the dark arms squeezing is body tighter and tighter against their body to realize he hadn't responded.

Pushing away as much as the jock's basketball and baseball-built muscles would allow him, he turned to look up at the dark face that stared desperately back at him, eyes looking on the verge of tears. For a moment, Ryan could only be fascinated at the fact that the other boy really did feel that much for him, that he wasn't the only one of them feeling that strangely strongly about the other.

"You don't want to break up…?" Ryan finally asked, still unbelieving at the other's reaction.

Chad's face fell as he shook his head sadly. "I thought…"

Realizing his horrible wording, Ryan quickly corrected his meaning. "I meant I thought _you _were going to want to break up when school started. I thought you just thought we were summer friends-with-benefits or something and I wanted to talk to you about it because I don't feel like that…"

"Of course not!" Chad once again pulled the smaller boy against him, bringing one of his hands to grip the back of Ryan's head against his chest. This time Ryan responded to the hug by wrapping his own pale thin arms around Chad's hard waist (or as best he could lying down). Chad gave a small quick kiss on the top of the blond's head before continuing. "Why would you think I wanted to end it?"

"I don't know," Ryan mumbled, feeling so stupid that he'd scared the other boy into thinking the total opposite at what he meant. "I guess, I figured with Troy and everything…"

"What does Troy have to do with this?" Chad asked, bringing his head down closer to hear Ryan more clearly and whisper in his ear.

"Well, if he saw us in school he might find out…" Ryan mentioned, not wanting to totally insult Chad's best friend.

"…about us? Troy already knows." Chad stated in a voice so plain Ryan almost didn't realize what he said. Almost.

"_What!?_" Ryan quickly shot his head up to look at Chad's face, just missing slamming the top of his head into the other boy's chin.

"I didn't realize we were keeping it secret…" Chad leaned away from his boyfriend's now much louder voice.

"And Troy's okay with this??" Ryan sputtered, unable to believe this had all happened so perfectly and without him knowing.

"Yeah, he said he was relieved to know you weren't trying to steal Gabs away from him and I thought I already told you all this…or did I tell Zeke…?"

"Zeke knows too??" Ryan nearly shouted, then adding "and how can you confuse me with _Zeke!_"

"I don't know, sorry…And yeah, I think pretty much all our friends know." Chad laughed nervously. "I mean, doesn't Sharpay?"

"…I didn't tell her." Ryan's eyes turned downcast, feeling horrible about unknowingly leaving his twin as the only one out of the loop.

"Well, I figured she already did, but we can tell her about it later today, okay?" Chad rubbed his hand against Ryan's bare white skin comfortingly. "She'll be cool with it, right?"

"Yeah…" Ryan nodded. Then, laughed as he added the afterthought. "I guess this is why girls supposedly want to talk so much…"

"Well, please don't scare me like that again." Chad grinned.

"Sorry…" Ryan smiled apologetically, when another thought struck him. "But wait, what about the rest of the school? And our parents, I mean I don't think my dad will have _that_ big a problem but…" Chad cut the pretty blond boy off by placing a hand over his mouth.

"We still have two weeks left right? We can worry about all that stuff when we come to it, right?" Chad smiled, and removed his hand. "After all, it's still summer."

"Procrastinator." Ryan teased, but was relieved and calmed at Chad's answer.

"Yes: making fun stuff last longer and worrying stuff shorter!" Chad announced, grinning widely, before he pushed away the blankets between them, and rolled over on top of Ryan, causing the blond to remember they were both still naked with a gasp. "Now, speaking of fun stuff, I think I need to remind you of one of the _many_ reasons why I would _never_ want to break up with you, _Mr. Evans_." Chad emphasized his words with a grind of their hips, and added in what according to Mr. Fulton, he was required to call Ryan, who laughed at the formality at possibly the least appropriate time for it.

"Glad to hear it." Ryan smiled through gasps, bringing his arms around the back of Chad's neck. "Because, I think I'm in love with you." Blue eyes stared honestly up at dark brown.

Chad just grinned his Danforth grin, leaned over and kissed the pale boy deeply. "Me too Ryan." He whispered, and paused for a moment, before adding. "And, this may sound a bit overdramatic, but… I don't think I'm going to love anybody else half as much."

Ryan just smiled. "Well, I love Drama."

Chad laughed, and started again what they had done the night before, as the sun desperately tried to light up the room through the blue curtains and inform them dawn had passed. But the boys didn't care.

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So much sweetness...my teeth hurt from cavities. I am honestly in shock that I wrote this. 

But hopefully it will be some sort of apology for taking so long on my other updates.

Please review, and excuse the ridiculous fluffiness. I'm somewhat embarrassed by it. Still in a state of shock though at what I wrote. So happy...(read "Explanations", which is more of my usual style, and you'll understand why I can't believe I just wrote this).

Thanks for reading!


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